30 Days of Gratitude: Part 4

I have not been very consistent with my gratitude posts, but I will bust out 30 like I said. And it does not imply that I lack things to be thankful for in my life because I have plently blessings... Friends being one of the greatest, so today, I am thankful for: My friends!

What would a girl do without her friends? She would have nobody to call and ask about the simple things like what to wear out that night, or what reply to send after the cute guy she met texts her the next day. Who would she have to tell about her life's drama to, or all the exciting things happening in her life. More imporantly, the shoulder to cry on and endless patience for the long nights of chatting about a broken heart. My best friend means the world to me and my life without her would be a life I have no desire to be a part of. She has picked me up every single time I have been down. She is always with my struggling through my stuggles and sharing with me in my joy. She always has the right words to say and never judges me for the mistakes I make. She truly is my better half and I am so thankful and blessed to be able to call her my best friend. I look up to her and respect her more than she will ever know, I just hope I am as good of a friend to her as she is to me.

30 Days of Gratitude: Part 3

Today I am thankful for: Jackson, my precious year old nephew. He makes me smile EVERY SINGLE DAY! I look forward to his cuddles, his kisses and laughing with him. I love watching this tiny person walk up to me when I come in the room and then when he stretches his arms out to pick him up, my whole heart just sings! Watching him grow up has been a complete joy, seeing his personality form is something I am so grateful to witness. I cannot wait until he can call me Aunty, it happens to be one of my favorite words!

30 days of Gratitude: Day 2

Today I am thankful for: WATER! It is the small things you take for granted, for all of North America, water is an easy accessible resource. As simple as turning on our taps. Forget walking miles and miles under the hot sun, or carrying this water in your hands, or on a bicycle. We walk to our kitchens and bathrooms and don't even think twice about how blessed we are to have running water in our homes. Having a shower, washing dishes and many other daily activities would not be so simple without the luxury that running water truly is. So yes, today I am very much thankful for water.

30 Days of Gratitude: Part 1

There is this blog that I love. I read it every morning and become rather bummed when there is no new post. It’s called hopes and dreams. She talks about everything from her family, her Mormon beliefs and how much she loves her baby (very cute baby I might add). She has started doing 30 days of gratitude post every day, so I decided it would be nice to do the same. So here it goes...

Today I am thankful for: My job. I know people say they love going to work and they love what they do. I agree that that statement can be true. But not every day is a perfect work day, and I have realized that a lot lately. I drag my butt to work, sometimes wishing I didn’t have to come back here again. BUT, then I remember that there are people in my very own city, in my family for that matter that are struggling to find a job. People who would be so grateful to have a reason to get up in the morning, to have that security in knowing a pay check is coming at the end of the month. My company is great and they do so much for their employees. So I have my grumpy days, but even on those days, I can see that God has blessed me with a great job and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Curiosity Killed the Cat... Or Maybe Not

As far as I am concerned, being friends with an ex is a bad idea, yet I remained friends with mine after both relationships. I get why people want to because it is exactly why I wanted to. I didn't want it to be over. I wanted to hold on, in the hopes of getting back together. I didn't want to feel that lonely feeling that comes with a break-up, and even if they weren't who you wanted them to be in your life, at least they were still in it. In my case, my first boyfriend was my best friend first. He actually dated my other friend before we dated (that is a whole different blog entry to come). So we dated off and on for a long time, and during an off time we continued to act as though we were dating. Then an afternoon that started out as a great day ended with my best friend and at that time, love of my life driving out of my life forever. That sucked BIG TIME! This time was not like the other fights. He didn't call to say I am sorry. He didn't drive back to my house to make up with me. He was gone for real. It took me a LONG time to get over and accept that painful reality, but eventually I did and in perfect timing, in walks Mr.Right (or so I thought for a while). We met on a trip to Cuba. To make a long story short, he lived in a different province and we decided to date long distance. We both hated that so before you know it up, up and away I went on a plane to move my entire life for the boy I wouldnt have guessed would break my heart. I moved back home after 6 months because he was moving away for University and I didnt want to stay there alone. A month after returning home I got that dreadful phone call telling me we were done. But it didnt stop there because I continued to talk to him for an entire YEAR after that.

With boyfriend number one, I had no curiosity as to how his life was or what he was doing because there were people in our circle of friends that still ran into him here and there and I would get the update as to what was going on. But with boyfriend number 2, I had no clue because he was across the country. So to this day, I am curious as to what life is like for him. I hate that I wonder because it has been nearly 2 years since we last spoke. Oddly enough, one of my very close friends is dating his best friend so no matter what, boyfriend number 2 will always be somehow tangled into my life. A wedding is most definitely in the future for my friend and his, so the inevitable run in is happening sooner or later. Hopefully later when I am well established in my life because I am almost certain he will be. So it's normal to be curious about an ex right? But the thing is, as curious as I am I am almost scared of what I might find out. Is he engaged... dating the new love of his life? Does he think about me.. and if he does are they good thoughts? I would hope. They say curiosity killed the cat, but in my case, I am afraid the curiosity would make the cat cry.

My Angel

Growing up my Dad was not a big part of my life (as far as I can remember at least). He was in and out of our lives a lot. In my heart, and knowing his heart, I know he didn't stay away because he didn't love us, I think it was because he was lost in his own life and didn't know where he belonged. But he found his way back. The memories I have of my Dad are few and far between, and the ones I do remember are not all good ones. Regardless my Dad made a HUGE comeback, and my life without him these days would not be complete. It was when I was around 15 that my Dad had a more permanent role in my life. And as I have continued to grow up, he has been involved in my life, learning about me and taking the time to stay in touch with me. I appreciate that more than my words could ever express. It truly is the little things in life that matter most because a phone call from my Dad calling just to see how my new job is going means more to me than an hour long phone call about this and that. Or he calls because he is worried about another trip I am going on, or something that I am taking part in that worries him. He calls just to make sure I am okay. I believe my dad is my angel here on earth. When nobody else knows I am upset, he does. He can sense it in my voice. I remember one time I was suffering from a broken heart. I was trying not to let it show, and went about my day as usual. And I was walking past him, and he asked what was wrong and I said nothing, but still, he knew that my heart was hurting. It goes that way with all my sisters, if any of us are going through something, he somehow senses it and calls one of us to make sure the other one is okay. If I had to describe to someone what unconditional love was, I would tell them it was the love that my Dad has for me. My Dad has gone through hell and back and then some, but his life today is proof of the oustanding, strong, and resilient  man that he is and I am so happy and blessed that God has had his back this entire time, because if my Dad did not have God in his heart, I do not believe he would be where he is today. So thank you Lord, for taking care of my Dad, for being his light in his darkest of days, for loving him unconditionally and for blessing us by allowing him to be our father here on earth.

The Kind of Love People Write Fairytales About.

I have had the pleasure (no pun intended) of reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" over the past 3 days. It was everything I was told it would be. It had me laughing, guessing, hoping... and of course it goes without saying... if you know this book is written for a mature audience. What was unexpected was the beginning of the second book. The tears that welled up in my eyes. Without going into detail in fear of spoiling this amazingly written novel, I must say it has gotten me thinking about love. Think of Edward and Bella. That unconditional, heart racing, passionate, could not imagine your life without them kind of love. The love that spins you into a world of your own where nobody else exists ... all consuming, never ending, true love. Is that not what every girl dreams of, hopes for, and deserves? I have often wondered if love is enough. In different points of my life, I have hoped and prayed that it would be, and other times, it has proven not to be. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I would like to go forward in my life believing that love really is enough. Love can do crazy things... it can make you move across the country if means never having to be a day without that special someone. The love of someone special can heal a broken heart, even if that special person was the one who broke it. It can make you hold on for years and years of waiting knowing that in the end, you get to have your happy ever after. True love can make you change your entire life, sometimes even what you believe in order to spend all your days to come with that person. I feel like this Christian Grey... this man that only exists on the pages of this book has opened my eyes to the love that I miss, to the love that I cannot wait to find again.