Thursday, September 20, 2012

Curiosity Killed the Cat... Or Maybe Not

As far as I am concerned, being friends with an ex is a bad idea, yet I remained friends with mine after both relationships. I get why people want to because it is exactly why I wanted to. I didn't want it to be over. I wanted to hold on, in the hopes of getting back together. I didn't want to feel that lonely feeling that comes with a break-up, and even if they weren't who you wanted them to be in your life, at least they were still in it. In my case, my first boyfriend was my best friend first. He actually dated my other friend before we dated (that is a whole different blog entry to come). So we dated off and on for a long time, and during an off time we continued to act as though we were dating. Then an afternoon that started out as a great day ended with my best friend and at that time, love of my life driving out of my life forever. That sucked BIG TIME! This time was not like the other fights. He didn't call to say I am sorry. He didn't drive back to my house to make up with me. He was gone for real. It took me a LONG time to get over and accept that painful reality, but eventually I did and in perfect timing, in walks Mr.Right (or so I thought for a while). We met on a trip to Cuba. To make a long story short, he lived in a different province and we decided to date long distance. We both hated that so before you know it up, up and away I went on a plane to move my entire life for the boy I wouldnt have guessed would break my heart. I moved back home after 6 months because he was moving away for University and I didnt want to stay there alone. A month after returning home I got that dreadful phone call telling me we were done. But it didnt stop there because I continued to talk to him for an entire YEAR after that.

With boyfriend number one, I had no curiosity as to how his life was or what he was doing because there were people in our circle of friends that still ran into him here and there and I would get the update as to what was going on. But with boyfriend number 2, I had no clue because he was across the country. So to this day, I am curious as to what life is like for him. I hate that I wonder because it has been nearly 2 years since we last spoke. Oddly enough, one of my very close friends is dating his best friend so no matter what, boyfriend number 2 will always be somehow tangled into my life. A wedding is most definitely in the future for my friend and his, so the inevitable run in is happening sooner or later. Hopefully later when I am well established in my life because I am almost certain he will be. So it's normal to be curious about an ex right? But the thing is, as curious as I am I am almost scared of what I might find out. Is he engaged... dating the new love of his life? Does he think about me.. and if he does are they good thoughts? I would hope. They say curiosity killed the cat, but in my case, I am afraid the curiosity would make the cat cry.